How this Lazy girl lost 50 lbs

                 I am going to start by telling you my weight gain story. I gained my first 30 lbs after I had a miscarriage and dealt with depression. I gained the rest by 4 pregnancies in 5 years and debilitating postpartum depression in between pregnancies. Also a deep love for Mountain dew, pizza, and king sized candy bars played a roll in an almost 90 lb weight gain. I got to a place where I was uncomfortable in my own body. Not just uncomfortable in front of people or in front of my husband, but uncomfortable alone in my bedroom, with the lights off, in bed, and covered. I felt like I was wearing a fat suit. I avoided mirrors, wore baggy clothes, and I have zero pictures of myself at my full weight. I hated the way I looked and I didn't feel like myself. As a child I loved the way I looked so much that I routinely got in trouble for not looking at people when they were talking to me, because I was too busy looking at my own reflection on whatever surface I could. Embarrassing as that is, I miss feeling that good about myself. 

One of the only pictures of me when I was heavier. Again still not at my heaviest.

Pregnant with my 4th and not even my heaviest

 
            Anyways I was 90 lbs over weight and very unmotivated. After many years of depression I believed that I was too lazy to lose weight and that I didn't have the mental strength to not give in to temptation. I had tried to diet or tried to exercise too many times. I only lasted a couple days on anything I tried. So what finally gave me the motivation I was lacking for so long? Fear did, fear of the bikini.
             My husband and I had never been away from our 4 young children for more than a night. I wanted to go on a vacation some where warm. I set up a trip to Mexico for 1 week, one year away. My husband agreed to this with one stipulation that I had to wear a BIKINI while on vacation. He said he did not care if I had lost any weight or not. My husband has always been very thin and can eat whatever he wants. I weighed more than him as soon as I got pregnant the first time. I tried to explain to him how horrible a bikini would look on my current body. My stomach would hang out over my bottoms, all of my body would jiggle, and people would probably yell at me to cover up! He did NOT care. I am thankful that I married a man who called me sexy at every size I was at and even seemed to believe it!
            I quickly decided that I could not let people even strangers see my body in a bikini. I also didn't want my husband who was clearly blinded from love see my flabby body in direct sunlight and have his vision go clear. I got a YMCA membership in February and slowly started my journey. I have never been athletic in my life. In the 8th grade I dropped out of volley ball, because they made us run around the gym. My first day I couldn't even do level 1 on the elliptical. When I started out at the gym I was ecstatic to burn 300 calories in an hour. I went to the gym probably around 3 days a week. I also tried to cut down on how much pop I drank and stop eating king sized candy bars. By summer I had lost my first 20 lbs.
            During the summer I started lifting weights, but didn't watch what I was eating. I was eating a lot less sugar though, because I just didn't crave it like I use to. When fall came all the swimsuits went on sale, so I bought a few of the dreaded bikinis I'd be expected to wear in Mexico.
          I tried on a bikini and it scared me into action. I started using my fitness pal to track my calories and continued to go to the YMCA. I got serious about my weight loss in a way I didn't/couldn't before. I stopped drinking pop completely during the week which was such an addiction for me in the past. I stopped eating any candy and was able to avoid temptation on a daily basis. It took a long time and me trying again and again after failing again and again to be successful. It didn't happen over night and didn't happen all at once. I made small changes slowly over a year. No secret weight loss trick, just the same boring story. I watched what I ate and worked out. It really does get easier though! I still mess up, but I try to make sure more calories out then in. I've been known to go on the treadmill just long enough to be able to eat a cookie, but I am happy with my progress.
          When I started I had 3 goals. 1. Loose 50 lbs 2. Weigh less than my husband again after 7 years 3. Fit into the goal jeans I'd had in my closet with the tags still on for 5 years. Now I can say I have lost over 50 lbs. I weigh less than my husband. My goal jeans fit and I have finally removed the tags! I've lost over a FOOT in my waist. I feel pretty good about myself in those bikinis I was so scared of. Of course there is more I'd like to lose and I'm a far way from perfect, but I am much happier and healthier now!

 My goal jeans FINALLY fit!

These pants I wore at my heaviest and they were snug!

50 lbs down!

The before picture was taken in the fall. Hard to share, but I'm proud of how far I've come!